Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
