i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
