My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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