The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
zippers are such a cool invention
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I pour the whiskey from now on
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
