how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
