He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
