I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
