I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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