Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
