Me. At least after what I've been through.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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