You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
