at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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