Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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