Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize