Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
