dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
