So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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