you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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