He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
