where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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