normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize