I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
