We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
