I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
