so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
