i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
