Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish you could order shots online.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
