hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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