Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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