Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
