She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
