I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
