When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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