$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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