im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
