This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
