hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
