Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
