In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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