Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
