I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
