OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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