it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
