what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
