dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
