I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize