even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
