So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
