i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
