my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You're earring is so big in my mouth
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
