I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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