Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
