They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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