Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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