if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
