nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
