My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize