I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
