Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
