sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
