I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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