I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
