i permit you to call me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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